Kodak Merger Announced

by Ctein

The latest news to shake the photography world is yet another change in direction by Great Yellow Father and the announcement of a major corporate merger. It was just a few years ago that Kodak CEO Antonio Perez announced that for all intents and purposes film was dead and Kodak would be devoting its future energies to digital photography. In today's press release, Kodak announced that, in effect, digital photography was dead and the future was in telecommunications.

"The up-and-coming generation of young image makers don't even use cameras. They use cell phones," Perez said. "They freely intermingle still images and video clips, sending them to their friends and posting them on-line. They don't even think about photography in the traditional sense. And they don't buy cameras and they don't get prints made. It's all going virtual.

"Cameras and prints have always been our core business, whether based on film or digital image capture. If we're going to survive into the 22nd century, we have to move beyond photography.

"Accordingly, today we announce our merger with AT&T. Both the Kodak and AT&T brand names will be subsumed into the new 'Telecom Photoimaging Corporation.'"

The new company, which will trade as TPC on the NYSE, is wasting no time in beginning its marketing campaign. It won't rely on live celebrities; instead, "cyber-stars," both former and present day, will trumpet the new business. James Colburn will be the first cyber-spokesman to carry the new megacorporation's banner with the slogan, "The right choice. The only choice."

The potential merger has raised antitrust eyebrows in government and in the electronics industry. The merger will take at least two years to complete; with the distinct possibility of regime change in Washington in 2008, skeptics wonder if this merger will ever be completed.

Kodak corporate attorneys are confident of success. "Oh, we're not worried about the White House. We never have trouble with the White House.

"Never."

Posted by: CTEIN

Happy April Fool's Day!